Guided by psychos - see what I mean?

The adventures of a mostly-blind Irish guy in NY, and the well-meaning but obvious nutcases I contantly meet thereof

Thursday, June 09, 2005

One Thing That Would Have Made It Better

A short list of things needed to make particular movies better:

The Matrix - Woulda loved a brief Alex Winter cameo.

Titanic - Needed another flare gun to the mouth. C'mon, how awesome was THAT?!

White Noise - So be secretly replaced with an episode of "Sightings".

The Village - To stop constantly talking about "Those We Don't Speak Of", or come up with a name that's halfway accurate, say "Those We Gibber About Endlessly". The movie also needs a huge helping of common sense.

Napolean Dynamite - exchange student crossovers from "Battle Royale". Pedro vs. Kazuo to the death, with a "freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?"

Star Wars Ep. 3 - A closeup of Mace Windu's lightsaber, a red one with "Bad Motherf*cker" on it. Also, a Wookie sex scene.


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