Guided by psychos - see what I mean?

The adventures of a mostly-blind Irish guy in NY, and the well-meaning but obvious nutcases I contantly meet thereof

Monday, August 08, 2005

All Your Magical Light Are Belong To Us

magical light instructionsMy parents bought some kind of whily happy face toy, that, when turned on, spins around, and flashes LEDs in weird patterns.

They also bought a box filled with wonderfully terrible English. I had to share it with you kids.

My favorites are, screw it, the whole thing is funny :D


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"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man,' Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly, he'll basically give you a hard time. He'll be bigger, faster, and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, But, he'll be pretty good in the sack."
"I can put up with that," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"Yeah well, he's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, there is one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
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